Tag Archives: Leni Robredo

Vice Ganda’s Reign

Memo to the Dying 10
To: Vice Ganda’s Reign
Estimated Death: When Marcelito Pomoy Comes Out of the Closet
Final Act: Marry Jong Hilario

Because he is intelligent, Vice-Ganda knows his reign as Comedy Queen (King?) is peaking, will flatten, and will go downhill from there.  With his brand of humor: observational comedy, irony and sarcasm with a flash of self-deprecating wit, Vice Ganda will not run of funny things to say; what he will run out of is something more mundane: motivation.

Creative comedians like Vice follow the patterns of Seinfeld, they want to take it to the next level where nobody gets their joke. Then someone’s comedic potential gets discovered and will be hosting Gandang Gabi Marcelito.

Frankly, I don’t like Vice. He is funny and intelligent. His quick humor and sarcasm are seamless. But his popular jokes destroy the foundations of Filipino cultural values: respect and discernment. Continue reading


Kapatid Network

Memo to the Dying 08:
To: Kapatid Network
Estimated Death: When MVP acquires GMA

Suggested Final Act: Revamp Your News Programming and Become the Good News TV

Let us be honest, despite high-profile talent acquisition – vintage Nora Aunor, larger-than-life Sharon Cuneta, legendary Dolphy, and Ultimate Survivor Willy Revillame – you are still where you started pre-MVP: an outsider. You are the street dog waiting outside the kitchen door for leftovers of the audience shared by the two giants dining inside the restaurant.

Ah, but MVP is  a wise and shrewd business, he knows this was coming. TV5 is intended to be a take-off point for  a larger acquisition: GMA. That will happen anytime now.


Now, what should be your final act?

Niching should be your strategy, but where? Not in primetime teleserye. The cast you can afford to pirate, but the people behind the success of each teleserye – producers, directors, scriptwriters, casting directors –  have forged their loyalty to The Charo Santos like the rings of Sauron. No one can escape the EYE of Charon.

Continue reading

Chief Justice Sereno’s Novelty

Memo to the Dying 07:
To: Chief Justice Sereno’s Novelty
Day of Death: Anytime now
Final Act: Pen A Landmark Supreme Court Decision

Congratulations for being our first woman Chief Justice.

I hope that your gender is not the main reason for your appointment. Because he is the only son in the family, President Noynoy tends to compensate his deprivation by surrounding himself with three groups of people in his government: father figures, brothers-in-arms, and strong women. The first two are compensations, the third is comfort zone.  (That is much better of course than GMA who surrounded herself with boytoys – comfort zone AND compensation for having a dweeb for a husband, and losers for sons.)

You join an elite circle of high-profile powerful women now: Kim Henares, Conchita Carpio-Morales, Leila de Lima, Ging Deles, Dinky Soliman, and Etta Rosales.

That we pioneer in having women as heads of branches of government doesn’t mean that we have an enlightened citizenry. It simply means that the previous men suck big time. Cory and GMA took over from ousted presidents while you follow an impeached loser. Continue reading

Sen. Sotto’s National Influence

Memo to the Dying 03
To: Senator Tito Sotto’s National Influence
Estimated Death: Now

Suggested Final Act: Write a Blog on Political Jokes

Blanket disclosure: Some of these ideas are not mine ( so walang plagiarism ito)

Yes, that title is a joke! National influence indeed! You are one of the two national public figures who belong to the most under-reported category of betrayal of public trust: failure to do anything significant despite being voted as Number 1 senator. The other of course is Noli de Castro. But while Noli does not have any air of importance about him, you act as if our lives depend on you. That argumentum ad misecordiam you use in your first Turno en Contra revealed who you really are: pro-RH. Your speeches reduce us to a state of stupor and decrease our sexual appetites. Continue talking and nobody gets pregnant in this country.

I don’t mind that you are a plagiarist. I never expected anything original from you. Like Eat Bulaga, you find entertainment in poor people’s misery in the guise of giving them hope.

This is our revenge: we will forever remember you as a plagiarist and forget everything good you have done to make us smile.

There is still time. Open a blog about political jokes, you don’t need to come up with new entries – just copy and paste from Political Heckler. That way, you combine three of your passions: patronage politics, power of humor, and plagiarism. That blog then is autobiographical.

Atty. Leni Robredo’s Media Presence

Memo to the Dying 01:
To: Atty. Leni Robredo’s Media Coverage
Estimated Death: On the 40th day commemoration of Jesse Robredo’s death

Suggested Final Act: A Scathing Challenge to the Media

As it should be, Atty. Leni, the media coverage around you should rest in peace together with your beloved husband. But while we will miss your husband, we won’t give another thought to your media coverage. So, I hope you use these final days to come up with a big bang exit.

Your media relations strategy was exquisite as any survivor of a tragedy can be. You began with dignified silence; followed it with an intelligent and compassionate engagement with media; and then what? HIT THEM!

Your husband is a classic case of the emperor’s new clothes that media people are wearing. That mantle of objectivity? It doesn’t exist. They don’t determine opinion – they ride on the popular wave of collective neurosis.

Case in point: after the Luneta hostage-taking incident, media – picking up from Twitters and Facebook – were generally unkind towards and prejudiced against your husband. There was a clamor for him to resign.

Now that ordinary people, employees, the masses on the street honor Jesse, media joined in the foray and act as if they have been Jesse’s friend. Bullshit!

So, before your coverage dies, HIT it, with a strong force enough to plunge it into the deep blue sea. No, do not go into the Susan Roces avenue whose tirade against ABS-CBN (making Karen Davila cry) was vengeful. And where is she now? Right there in Walang Hanggan!

Do not mimic the president who attacked news anchor Noli de Castro during a grand celebration. That was both vengeful and opportunistic.

Yours will be a dignified and intelligent attack so that media will learn its lesson well — report the news as fairly as possible without primary consideration of ratings and twitter trending.